How much can I handle

So, in continuum from my previous post, I am starting an online graduate assistantship (GA) this next month. And, I’ll be taking a 5 credit hour course load. And, I’ll be working full time at my crisis center job, which includes on call shifts a few times a month.

Can I still manage to work about one day a week at the clothing store?

Yes, I still work there, a job first referenced in a post from 2010. Since they have allowed me to work one-to-two days a week, been really flexible with any time off, and it honestly isn’t a super stressful job most of the time, I just stayed on for the extra money. I never could justify quitting. I mean, would I really be doing something so meaningful on Sunday afternoons that would be so much more important than making a few extra dollars to help with the bills? As important as getting caught up on shows on Netflix really is, well…

…well, until NOW.

I really don’t know how I can balance working at the clothing store with all my new responsibilities. I was hoping that I could perhaps take a leave of absence and come back on for holidays and summers when my class load and GA wouldn’t interfere. I found out this past weekend that unfortunately that wasn’t an option. I had to work one day a week, or quit and hope to be hired back during those times, losing seniority in the process.

I’m surprisingly (maybe not surprisingly?) having a hard time with this decision. While this is a job any idiot, and I say that in the nicest way possible, could get – they’ve been good to me considering the type of job it is, and saying goodbye after this long is just difficult to process. So, for old time’s sake, here’s a breakdown of pros and cons:

Benefits of leaving the clothing store:

1. I would have time to devote to my new responsibilities.
   This is most important. My class this semester is supposed to be more involved. Plus, I’ll obviously be spending 10 hours a week for the GA. This is for my future; this is where I need to be putting my focus on this as much as possible. The clothing store will just interfere.
2. Less tempted to spend money.
   I never, okay rarely, shopped there before I started working there. And now, I wouldn’t be surprised if they have gotten more of my money than they pay me. I’ve not been so bad in the past several months – but I’m not really buying stuff that I necessarily need there most of the time. There is less temptation to buy there when I’m not spending hours around the merchandise.
3. I can always go back.
   I will need to make sure of this before I put in the two weeks that I could always go back on the same schedule I currently work. I understand that I will lose the ability to accrue any additional holiday and personal time that I get now – but honestly, it doesn’t add up to a whole lot anyway. I would keep the same pay rate though, which is more important anyway. IF I could go back with the same schedule flexibility, then why am I holding on?

Benefits of staying at the clothing store:

1. The discount.
   It’s not awesome, other than some special employee weekend deals. Sure, I might buy stuff I really don’t need. But not always. For instance, I have some bicycle shorts on hold right now that I’ll be picking up today. I really like the cycling class at my gym, but haven’t gone back because of how painful the seats were. Sure, it’s not the same need as buying groceries, but it’s also not the same as buying my 40th dress I can barely fit in my closet.
   I also use the discount to buy gifts for people when I can. It’s great for Christmas, getting stuff for my young nieces, etc.
2. Keeping the seniority.
   Being able to work the schedule that I do there is huge. I wouldn’t be able to do that at any retail environment as a new hire. If I lose that ability when I quit if I want to come back – well, that is a lost opportunity for extra money.
3. Maybe I can do it all?
   Who knows, maybe I’m doubting my ability to handle everything. I mean, the shifts there are usually 4-5 hours. I did the clothing store along with a 3rd job that I was putting 12 or more hours a week in for several months last year. As long as I am proactive in requesting off weekends of major assignments – maybe I still have it in me to be superwoman? Or at least, give it a shot before throwing it away?

This is a lot of debating for a job that barely pays more than minimum wage. But, the reality of my financial situation is that every dollar counts unfortunately. I’m still not sure what I will decide – but the time to decide is quickly approaching!

Making good on that promise

One year and four months later from my last post:

So, back in January of 2013, I made this little post about applying for a grad program by that year’s end. I was frustrated with, well everything that I’ve blogged about that has led up to that point.

Well, I am here to report that I made good on that promise to myself.

I feel like what was holding me back was the big gamble. This gamble was two fold:

1. I was scared to give up what took me two years after graduation to finally achieve (a full-time entry-level job with benefits) to end up at the same place I was when this blog began.
   While I wouldn’t say I’m happy now, I’m a hell of a lot better off than I was in 2010. And I realize this. I have paid vacation time and sick time. And, let me tell you I’ve taken full advantage of both! Even though I might not be professionally satisfied, at least I also work for an agency I respect. Which is huge.
2. I’m scared to go into more debt.
   My student loan is the bane of my existence. I’ve done what I could to abolish it the best that I can. I knocked out over half of the original value of the loan in less than two years, and honestly, there’s only pocket change left compared to most people I know. It’s more symbolic than anything: I hate that I’m continually paying for something that did jack shit to better my life. And I don’t want to go into that kind of wasteful debt again.

So, I found an online program that eliminated that gamble altogether. And that was the push I needed to move forward.

I can attend classes online in a part-time fashion, which will allow me to keep my current job in the meantime. AND, I was awarded an online graduate assistantship. I’ll be working for a professor 10 hours a week (similar to what I did for my first masters), but since the school is several states away, I get to do this from HOME. And this accompanies a tuition waiver and a stipend bigger than any of my part time jobs.

And even after taking one class this spring, I’m genuinely excited, which is more than I can say about most of my first masters program.

This plan isn’t completely foolproof. There is no formalized internship program, so I need to be sure I gain some real world experience in the 3 years it will take for me to complete coursework. And, getting that real world experience may require more of a gamble, but that’s for a later time to deal with as I want more classes under my belt first. And even with that real world experience, it still might not be enough to break into a field with very limited entry-level positions. 

But if this new degree fails to do what it should, I’m not back where I started. I’m still where I am today. Where I am today, not where I was in 2010. That is something I’m much more okay with.

So here’s to hopefully becoming a Master of SOMETHING, and not a Master of More Nothings.

So what’s the answer?

Hi blog. I have not forgotten about you, I promise. I appreciate the comments I still get from time to time on some of my older posts. It’s nice to know that I’m not the only one who has been struggling to find their career potential, and I hope the best for anyone in a similar situation that might find themselves here.

Speaking about not being the only one in my situation, Yahoo had an article over a month ago that featured several others who obtained master’s degrees that didn’t help them in the job market. Yes, that’s how long I’ve been meaning to write this post.

The article covers people in a variety of different fields: business, HR, psychology, education. But while the article is a little comforting for me, it does very little in addressing how this situation could be resolved.

Case in point: Nick got his master’s in HR, and is working 3 part-time jobs. Daniel, who went into clinical psychology (which, I know plenty of people in this field. There are jobs, they just pay next to nothing) mentions what he wished he did instead. His answer would be getting a degree in HR.

I mean, does this article just pretend that I didn’t just read a short story about someone struggling in HR? It also did it with the first two people, with one person wishing she got an MBA and another person not finding work with that same degree.

So what does this mean? Are we all just screwed?

As I’ve been researching into what I would like to go back to school for (as I mentioned in the previous post, I WILL apply for something next fall), I’m being very careful to look into what my career prospects will be once I’m done. I don’t want to go into more debt just to end up in the same position I was two years ago.

This might be showing me that no matter what I go into, there might be a certain gamble I will be taking. I’m currently looking into public health (I’ll go into to that at a later point), and while schools seem to boast about their high employment rates after graduation and these applied programs all have internships built into them – something that is a must for any future degree program I will enroll in – I’m just not 100% sold on it. I’m not just convinced that it is worth the investment just yet, although a lot of what I’ve looked into seems very intriguing.

I guess I’ll be doing a lot of weighing pros and cons, and talking to as many people as possible in the coming months. I don’t have to make a decision tomorrow, but I will need to soon. Just hoping that as I role the dice once again in terms of my education, that I don’t end up on a similar list as these 5 individuals again. Hopefully the risk, whatever it may, pays off in the end.

New Year, New You

I joined a new 8-week workout program by that name, but this nasty cold-flu-whatever I have caught has put a damper in that part of my New Years Resolution.

So a couple weeks later (and about 6 months since my last post), here I am writing what has to happen this year. While dropping a few pounds I’ve packed on in the past couple years would be nice, I really need to focus on getting myself out of this hole that I’ve been in since this blog started.

My goal: apply for a new program to go back to school by the year’s end.

I’ve sat on this way too long. I’m not sure why, partially because I couldn’t commit to something, partially because something would come across ever so often that would lift my hopes that I wouldn’t have to go back to school, I don’t really know. All I do know is that I’m seeing everyone else’s lives heading to bigger horizons more than ever, and here I am still just stuck.

Sure, I’m better off than I was when this blog started. In the past year, I did finally get a full-time job. I have benefits, which have allowed me stay at home and heal from this third bout of sickness I have gotten since September (really getting tired of being sick). Sure, I’m making enough money to get by, even if I’m making myself more exhausted by working a 3rd job to try to get rid of my student loans a little faster. But I don’t want to just be ‘getting by.’

It’s only partially about the money when I say that. It’s more about doing something productive and meaningful with my life and feeling important. I knew when I took on the current position that I have, that I was passing up a field with the insurance company that would allow for promotions, because ultimately I didn’t want to spend my life working there. I guess I hoped that at least with the crisis agency that I would be satisfied with the job I have now for the meantime, knowing that it was just a stagnant position. Honestly, I’m mostly just bored and stuck there, which is absolutely frustrating.

I’ve decided that in order to finally get myself unstuck, I have to get another degree. I need to find a program that will have job/internship experience as part of their curriculum, so I can obtain work experience for when I get back out in the job market. And dammit, whatever program I go into has to have an outstanding history of alums finding employment afterward, because I’m sure as hell not investing time or money in something that will end me up in this same spot when it’s over.

So for whatever reasons that have held me back from making this step, whether it be uncertainty of what field to go into or hopes that something would work out with what I’ve got, well no more. I’ve sat around feeling like shit long enough, and something will get done this year to move myself out of this. I’m tired of the rest of my life being on hold until I get this figured out. So no more excuses. Not this time.

The Big 3 – Not For Me

So there are a lot of articles out that tell you certain things you should have by a certain age. For instance, I read a couple months ago in Glamour of 30 Things Every Woman Should Have and Should Know. Some of it is experience and life acceptance based, which is fine and dandy. But others, like owning one really nice piece of furniture not from family or having a solid start on a satisfying career, I really wonder if I will reach that.

But in a world where degrees don’t always lead to the outcomes once perceived, and one is left in a career mucky muck soul searching, are some of these things even obtainable by this age anymore? And is it a big deal if it’s not?

Lately, I’ve been bugged by the big 3 things that everyone on my facebook newsfeed seems to be boasting about (or at least aspiring to have): weddings, babies, and buying a house.

Ok, so I somehow reached the age that a lot of grown-up decisions are being made by my peers. These are a lot of grown-up decisions that I just don’t have any desire to make anytime in the foreseeable future. And as I am approaching more 30 more quickly than I like, does that mean something is wrong with me?

I guess why I don’t want to pursue any of these big 3 is that I’m not in a place where I feel satisfied to settle. Honestly, I really don’t want to stay in the town I live in long term, but haven’t figured out how to move on yet. I’m still trying to figure out what I want to do career-wise, as this blog has repeatedly pointed out. And the big 3 is all about permanence. Marrying someone, all your decisions affect another person. Having kids, you add more people to that equation. And buying a house means all those decisions are made in that location for a long time. Instead of trying to figure out my own life, I would instead have to be more concerned with what’s best for the family. I wouldn’t be able to easily pack up and move if I have a sudden career epiphany, if I would be able to pursue it at all. And, truthfully, that scares me. It scares me enough to want to stay as far away from the big 3 as humanly possible.

It’s not like everyone has one or more of the big 3 on their mind, but it’s feeling more and more like an abnormality. But as people drift into one or more of the big 3s, it gets harder to find common ground. Honestly, I’m really tired of pretending to care about how wedding planning is going, or ooh-ing or ah-ing that every friend’s baby is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. Sure, it’s exciting to them, but these things consume their lives so much that it’s hard to move past it. And not having reached a stage in my life where I’m making these big 3 decisions, it can get really frustrating, both in pretending to give a damn and being concerned that maybe I should be working towards those goals too and grow up a little.

Well, I guess I’m going to have to accept that I might be one of the odd ones out right now. Just because society and my newsfeed say that’s where I’m supposed to be right now, doesn’t mean my life won’t be just as awesome if I enjoy my 20s big 3-free with a little less responsbility. And if/when I do ever approach those grown-up choices, hopefully I can feel more confident in my own life and better prepared for these life milestones. We will see.

Taking my own advice

It’s not hard to find someone complaining about their own life. Job sucks, family doesn’t appreciate me, I can’t afford this vacation/big screen TV/new car/etc. But with all the dissatifications we come up with, it’s much harder to find someone actively looking to change their situation.

Yes, the economy sucks. We all know this and have uttered this countless times. But I wonder exactly how many people use this as an excuse not to try harder, since it is such an easy explanation that puts no fault on the job hunter themselves. I know there are times that I’ve felt like giving up (and momentarily had), and just mulled around in my self pity crying that nothing is ever going to change, no matter what I do.

But if maybe a little more effort is put forward, if maybe we push ourselves a little past our comfort zones and try something new, then maybe something will come from it different than the situation we presently reside in and despise.

I’ve bounced around from plan B to plan V trying to figure out how to get myself out of this job rut. Sure, some things are out of my control, but I honestly haven’t stuck with an idea long enough to see if it even pans out. And as my new position has quickly become unmotivating for me professionally, I find myself looking at plans far more extreme than getting my PhD.

I’ve gone as drastically to even looking at joining the Peace Corps, an idea I’ve had in my head for years but never really had enough guts to pursue. 27 months is a long time to commit to being so far away, but I wonder at this point, if I’ll ever be truly happy if I don’t give something this radical a try. I am researching other programs with a year stint (I’m really liking this Global Health Corps program, but I’m sure it’s super competitive). I just don’t want to look back on my life 20 years from now and regret not taking the actions necessary to get somewhere, to be someone, to be satisfied in my professional endeavors.

And yes, while shit does happen, I can still make decisions in my life to at least attempt to make things better. It may not work, and it may not have to be the Peace Corps, but at least I can give my life a chance to improve. We’ll just see if I can follow my own advice.

A Master of Nothing gets a big girl job…sort of

…long overdue post

May seemed to be a lucky month for several people I know. One friend got hired on at a part-time job full time, another friend was able to leave a 3rd shift job he hated for a much better career opportunity, and another got a raise.

Oh, and I was offered two positions in the same week.

*Before I continue, let me just preface this post as neither of these positions were ones that I ideally wanted after I graduated. But, they were a step up from the temp job I currently was holding.

Opening 1: A full time call center job at the insurance company I’ve currently been temping at.
Yes, yuck, a call center job sounds horrible. And while this call center wouldn’t have been as bad as others, as the position mostly dealt with agents trying to help formulate payment plans with semi-normal business hours, it still was a call center. With an initial pay cut from my temp job.
While those are obvious negatives to said position, it would be a foot in the door. Once internal, a whole slew of job opportunities become available, with lots of chances for advancement in many different career ladders. It would also be full time with benefits, and the supervisor had contacted my temp job supervisor directly looking for people in my unit. This was as good of a chance as any to get hired on.

Opening #2 – Database Specialist at the place of crisis hotline volunteering
As I was waiting to hear about the prospect of an interview for the call center position, I learned while working my volunteer shift at the crisis hotline that a full-time opening was becoming available there as well. This position was a new opening to assist in updating all the referral information for the growing number of counties we were covering, as well as backing up the phoneroom and on-call rotations for the volunteers. With my previous job experiences and volunteering there for the past year, I had a good shot at this position as well.
*Oh, I guess to keep the posts balanced, possible negatives would be less chance of promotion and burnout, as some volunteer shifts can be overwhelming.
So with a staff person as a reference, I sent my resume.

And got a phone call the next day.

The supervisor was thrilled to see my resume, and was excited to meet with me to talk about my varied experiences. I was ecstatic to hear such a good response to my resume, especially after the almost 2 years of rejection after rejection.

Just when I thought the insurance job was a bust (there were some technical glitches in the application that made me ineligible momentarily – gotta love online submissions), I got a call the day after for a phone interview. I was overwhelmed – 2 interviews set for the following week. If nothing positive happened from this, then something must be wrong with me.

The phone interview was first. It lasted twice as long as I had anticipated, and I could’ve been more prepared. However, at the end of the interview, I was informed that I was being recommended for the next phase of the process, which was an in-person meeting.

A few hours later, that got scheduled for later in the same week. I was up to 3 interviews in the same week.

Stressed did not begin to cover it.

The crisis line interview was more laid back. I felt overdressed in my new dress I bought for the occasion, but better than underdressed I suppose. The in-person call center interview was grilling, but at least the two ladies were easy to talk to.

The next week, I was offered both positions. And the decision was one that I didn’t have to ponder much upon.

So, I said goodbye to the corporate world that I never thought was someplace I belonged anyway. We’ll see what the non-profit world has to offer for me. Have I figured out my life yet? No, not even close. But, at least it’s a step forward, and I’ll take that.

The PhD – is it worth it?

I’m going on underemployed for one year and eight months now. This stagnant stage in my life has given me lots time to analyze, ponder, reanalyze, and reevaluate where my life is going. Then once I’m done with that, I get to think and plan new paths for my life some more. It’s a never-ending circle.

Some of it is situational. Like, being offered an interview in the company I’ve been temping at for a year (hence my previous post). However, when I was told at the beginning of the interview that they are not likely to hire anyone external for the position, and when no applicable openings became available in the subsequent weeks, my focus has returned once again to a more broad, life altering path.

MORE SCHOOL

Sure, I’ve thought about other educational possibilities in the past. I did some shadowing for occupational therapy and even took an anatomy class last fall, but decided I wasn’t in love with it enough to fork over the $20k a year for the master’s program, even with the almost guaranteed employment afterwards.

I’ve found myself falling in love with going back to psychology, but switching to a more applied social or community focus. After all this time, I still want to do research, but I need training in areas that are more related to what the jobs are looking for. Researching this path has actually made me more excited than anything else I’ve thought about in recent memory, so that is one good sign that perhaps this is the right road for me.

However, I’m not naive enough to know what a big commitment getting a PhD will entail. So here are some of the fears I have with going with this decision full force

1. Will I even get into a program?
   I applied to six PhD schools straight out of undergrad. Got a phone interview at one, and waitlisted at another, but no acceptance anywhere. This obvious rejection has me nervous about attempting to try again, especially in an area where I do not have as much experience as switching areas of psychology would result in. I would hope that already having a master’s degree with a couple publications would help, but the competition is tough. I can try to improve my GRE schools, and maybe inquire about volunteering at a lab where I got my master’s to obtain some more relevant research experience, but will that be enough? With so many top tier students applying, and only 5% getting accepted at my first choice school, is there really a chance of even pursuing this path?
2. Can I really handle potentially five more years of school?
   I’m not denying that I might possibly be romanticizing my years in school while stuck in this underemployment phase. All I have to do is look at my Facebook and Twitter to notice how agonizing writing my thesis was. A dissertation would be ten times more stressful, that’s for sure, not to mention the classload. Am I really up for the work ahead?
   Honestly, I think I could do it. Reading the requirements for my top choice school, the courses actually excite me, and it’s not like I have to write the dissertation overnight. Sure, it will be a challenge, but after so long of just coasting by, it might be just what I need.
3. Am I willing to risk what good things I’ve got going here?
   My top school is across the country. A few other programs I’ve looked at will at least mean I’ll have to move hours, if not states, away. While I was realizing this week what little opportunities I have to advance in this town, my boyfriend texted me about an opening for an assistant director position in his department that he might go for. If he got this position, he’ll want to stay here at least for a few years in this nice, cushy job, and who would blame him? So if I pursue this path after that, I’m basically dooming the best relationship I’ve ever had.
   Sure, I’m not letting this be my ultimate dealbreaker. My years being single have shown me that I can get by just fine on my own, and I know it wouldn’t be the end of the world if our lives went in different directions. But goddammit if I actually just WANT this to work out positively. After a year and 8 months (yes, same timeline as my underemployment phase of life coincidentally), why wouldn’t I want the only thing holding me together sometimes to pan out? Le sigh, this one will just have to play itself out.
4. Will it be worth it?
   Lastly, and maybe most importantly: will I be in this same situation when I am graduate? If there isn’t more potential for me getting a job, then adding a Dr. to the front of my name will just make my current situation even worse. All that would change is the name of the blog to A Doctor of Nothing Employable. I don’t want to commit this much time and effort and risk for something that won’t pay off.
   What I like about my top choice school is that it has a couple internship programs built into the curriculum. These would hopefully provide me with some real-life experiences that would make me a more desirable job candidate when I finish. Of course, these will be questions that I would ask the institution before ultimately committing to the program, especially with out-of-date statistics on most websites. But if the job prospect doesn’t look promising, I’m plain not doing this. Easy as that.

This is definitely a lot to consider, and luckily I don’t have to apply until the fall. Until then, I’m going to start inquiring about different programs, studying for the GRE, and seeing if there are any research volunteer opportunities at the alma mater. And if something else pops up in the meantime, then no harm done.

I know the analyzing and reanalyzing of my life will never cease, but I just want the circles I keep going in to slow down a bit.

In the meantime

I took a break from the job hunt. After not getting the job in the previous post, I took the time to start doing some real soul searching. As my skills that I had are getting out of practice, and the lack of opportunities so far, I really needed to figure out more directly what I want to do with my life and how I’m going to achieve it. I’m still passing around the thought of getting my PhD, but if I decide to do that, I won’t be applying til the fall anyway. Which leaves me months of ‘what-to-do-in-the-meantime?’

I’m still in my temp job, and figured that with the success of many people in my unit obtaining full-time positions in other departments, that I’d take my swing at applying for openings myself. Other than completing a few pre-employment tests for a position that would’ve paid less than my current temp job (but with benefits! wow would benefits be amazing!) and still never even getting an interview before being rejected, I’ve had no luck in months.

Tomorrow, I have a chance to maybe turn that luck around in my first phone interview with the company.

The position isn’t bad. It’s working the phones for HR. A job in HR isn’t a far cry from my psychology degree, but it’s not exactly what I had in mind originally. It would be a decent in-the-meantime job, with the beloved benefits, because a vacation would be lovely and I haven’t seen a dentist in years.

The task I must accomplish tomorrow: to make them believe that this is much more than a decent in-the-meantime job for me, even if I can’t convince myself of that.

I can’t get completely excited about the position. Perhaps it’s the vague job description, but I’m scared that if I get the in-the-meantime job, that it will become more than that. The last thing I want to do is settle. I don’t want to wake up 10 years from now still living in the same town working a job that just pays the bills. I’ve got the rest of my life to settle, I don’t need to be doing so at 26 when there’s still so much more in this life I want to explore.

There are plenty of growth opportunities in this company if I do happen to get the. Some of them just might be something I’d actually enjoy. But time will tell.

Meanwhile, I’ve taken a different route in preparing for this interview. My supervisor has given me tips, and I will be mock interviewing with her before my phone interview after work. Since the interviews are typically in the ‘tell me about a time’ format that I absolutely cannot stand, per her advice I’ve come up with 6 different scenarios that encompass certain ‘competencies’ that this position is looking for. Hey, if I got someone on the inside that knows something about what is going to transpire tomorrow, I might as well take advantage of it.

So we’ll see what happens tomorrow. In the meantime, I’ve got a ‘tell me about yourself’ statement to revise…

The last straw

I probably should’ve written about this several months ago. Better late than never, but this is an important story to share in my transition.

I threw out one more application for something in my field. I randomly saw a research position at a firm in an area closer to my expertise than anything I had applied at before. The job involved every step of the research process, and just plain sounded awesome. So, I tweaked my resume and applied.

Over a month later, I heard back about an interview. After convincing the boyfriend to drive me 3 hours for an interview that could ultimately separate us, I spent 2 hours talking to the Research Director and a high level researcher about my thesis and what I could offer them. It was great. I hadn’t talked about my work in a long time, and they seemed truly interested. It was probably the best I felt about an interview, well ever.

A couple days later, I got a call for a 2nd interview. While being a little ticked that I would have to finally get my car fixed and drive that far again, I was still excited. I was even looking at apartments on craigslist and daydreaming about finally starting a job I would actually enjoy. You know, not worrying about finances, living in a new place, feeling like I’m accomplishing something.

That all came crashing down as soon as I started talking to the additional people at the 2nd interview.

The two additional interviewers were not familiar with psychology, and didn’t seem like they thought they needed someone trained in psychological research for their firm. While I tried to express how I’ve done more than academic research and can easily apply what I know and adapt it to what suits them, they weren’t buying it and I could tell. I walked out of this interview no longer looking at apartments but instead looking into a new career path.

I let everything hang on this last interview. If I didn’t get the position that was the closest to my research expertise, then it’s time to move on. I can keep trying, but I feel like my time is better spent looking into something else for the long haul. So when I got the rejection email, not unlike the hundreds I’ve received before, I already had plan B rolling into place which coddled some of the hurt I’ve felt with rejections before.

I gave it my best shot. But, it no longer seems worth pursuing a career that not only doesn’t want me, but where many of the positions were stagnant with no potential of moving up. Sure, they were positions I would have gladly taken now. But what about 5 years from now? I could’ve possibly ended up stuck in a circumstance not so unlike the one I’m in currently.

So, I’m hanging up my hat. Time for Plan B, or C, or V when I finally find something worth pursuing. It will be a long road, but hopefully I find the right path. Eventually.